"Opportunity knocked. My doorman threw him out."

"I epitomize America."

"God can be addressed, but not expressed."

"If the man had every other baby there would never be a fourth."

"Mahatma Gandi was what wives wish their husbands were: thin, tan and moral."

"That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting."

"You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want."

"If you never did, you should. These things are fun and fun is good!"

"I am not merry; but I do beguileThe thing I am, by seeming otherwise."

"If people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny."

"Don't die with the music in you."

"Fortunately [psychoanalysis] is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist."